Dear Shamica
What’s on your mind?
Tell me what’s going on, in your own words. I’ll point you to letters and conversations Shamica has written about it, and help you write to her if you want a real answer.
An automated guide to Shamica’s letters and conversations. It isn’t Shamica, and it isn’t therapy. What you type here isn’t saved. In crisis? Call or text 988.
Dear Shamica / Letters / Becoming, Life Transitions, Personal Growth
Dear Shamica,
I have a good job, my own place, and people tell me all the time how proud they are of me. I worked hard for all of it. But lately I feel restless and kind of empty, like I’m following a plan I made ten years ago that doesn’t fit anymore. I feel ungrateful even saying that. Is something wrong with me?
— Successful and Stuck
Dear Successful and Stuck,
Nothing is wrong with you. And feeling restless doesn’t make you ungrateful. You can be deeply thankful for everything you’ve built and still feel it doesn’t fit the person you’re becoming. Both are true.
What you’re describing happens to a lot of people who did everything “right.” You made a plan, probably at a time when stability was the most important thing, and you followed it with real discipline. That plan did its job. It got you here. It just wasn’t designed for the you who arrived.
Restlessness is information. It doesn’t tell you what to do yet, but it tells you that something wants your attention. Before you make any big moves, try getting curious:
You don’t have to blow up your life to change it. Sometimes the shift is a new direction inside the same career. Sometimes it’s more room for rest, creativity or relationships. Sometimes, yes, it’s a bigger change. But you’ll make that decision much better from curiosity than from panic.
You worked hard to build a life. Now you get to make sure it still feels like yours.
Cheering you on,
Shamica
More letters
“We’ve been together two years. Every time I bring up moving in together or talking about the future, he says he’s not ready yet — work is stressful, he wants to be more stable…”
— Patient but Tired Read Shamica’s response →“I have a good job, my own place, and people tell me all the time how proud they are of me. I worked hard for all of it. But lately I feel restless and…”
— Successful and Stuck Read Shamica’s response →“I’m single and I date, but I usually lose interest after a few dates. My friends keep telling me I’m too picky and that I need to give people a chance. Maybe they’re right?…”
— Picky or Particular Read Shamica’s response →Dear Shamica
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