
My Friends Say I’m Too Picky
Standards or pickiness? The difference isn’t how long your list is. It’s what’s on it.
Dear Shamica
What’s on your mind?
Tell me what’s going on, in your own words. I’ll point you to letters and conversations Shamica has written about it, and help you write to her if you want a real answer.
An automated guide to Shamica’s letters and conversations. It isn’t Shamica, and it isn’t therapy. What you type here isn’t saved. In crisis? Call or text 988.
Conversations
Honest, nuanced writing on relationships, growth and human behavior. No one-size-fits-all rules, just better questions and clearer choices.

Standards or pickiness? The difference isn’t how long your list is. It’s what’s on it.

The internet has one answer for every relationship question: leave. Real life is more complicated than that, and your decision deserves more nuance.

“Not ready” can mean not yet, or not ever. Here’s how to find out which one you’re living with.
Dear Shamica
Write to Dear Shamica. Ask anonymously or sign your name. Some letters are answered publicly, always without identifying details.